Discovery of the Day

Discovery of the day: one part skim milk + one part brewed coffee + 2 sachets artifical sweetener tastes just like Starbucks Coffee.

What if they had Friendster,Facebook, Tweeter, etc ages ago?

I’m probably one of the ten people in the world who has neither a facebook nor friendster account – during college when people who ask for my friendster account and I reply that I don’t have one, they get this incredulous look on their faces along with the follow-up question ‘why’. I used to reply that I’m too much of a snob to bother with friendster; then the much simpler I don’t want one. The reason I haven’t any of these is two is that they don’t really appeal much to me. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m great with good ol’e-mail and YM. But I did wonder if friendster or facebook or tweeter had been here ages ago, would certain people make use of them and how? Well, came across a hilarious one:

kids are the darnest things

Haven’t blogged for ages as I’m so very busy these days and it wasn’t with a smile that I blogged about the aftermath of typhoon Ondoy. That really got me into deep thinking and I think that I even earned a wrinkle for it (damn). So, to cheer people up a bit:

and who could forget Harry and Charlie

this one is really cute (lols)

everyone knows about the marshmallow test, but it’s plain cute! (and I seriously doubt I’d pass this particular test too)

blood… ( I never tire of this one, this kid’s awfully cute)

By the way, Happy birthday, Cherry Pie!

Proud to be a Filipino

The typhoon has really woken up people, both ways, and though there are a number of people who has chosen to take advantage of the relief measures, a staggering majority chose the opposite, and let me just say, I have never been more proud to be a Filipino than I am these days.

How often has it been said that the People’s Power Revolution (other countries tried to emulate a similar bloodless revolution and failed) was a day when ordinary people did extraordinary things? Having been born in 1983, this was something I missed and what a thing to miss it was.

But like any other social science student, I delved into details about the rule of former President Marcos, perhaps viewing him with more understanding than most as both of my parents’ own families believed in this regime and the this leader. But even looking up to Ferdinand Marcos senior as I did, the personal recounts and video footages and books depicting nuns, students, parents and civilians from all walks of life singing peace songs and handing rosaries and roses to soldiers heavily armed for combat and astride military tanks along EDSA was something that, deep inside, I understood, and made my insides ache. That was truly a day when ordinary people did extraordinary things – people giving roses for guns, soldiers laying down arms for the people, a dictator stepping down to prevent EDSA from turning red with blood.

EDSA II happened while I was a college freshman and unlike most people, I (along with a handful of select people) saw it coming and keenly observed and discussed the political power plays and the direction that the country was heading. Perhaps 2001 just isn’t the same as 1986, perhaps the twenty-first century truly is a different world altogether, but (and unlike even the said handful of select people) EDSA II just didn’t quite measure up to the spirit of the original EDSA revolution for me and this time around both family and friends were participants to EDSA II.

What does make me feel the way I did when I studied the original EDSA revolution was the rescue and relief efforts have seen around me these past few days. Friends wading in several feet of water to rescue friends, classmates ‘adopting’ classmates whose houses had been severely damaged, people braving flood, gushing wind and rain for mere acquaintances, kids parting with beloved toys and clothes to give comfort to others they haven’t even met. These past few days, several hundreds of ordinary people did extraordinary things. Like I said, I have never been more proud to be a Filipino.

As for the government, well, this government continue to live up to its image of corruption, greed and all-around selfishness, the kind that you can’t believe. I was, still am, severely effin’ frustrated with the fact that throughout Saturday you couldn’t see any movement from the government; no BJMP trucks or amphibian vehicles transporting those stranded and rescuing those in danger (dictator that he may have been in his later rule, but military vehicle were then used to transport stranded students and military personnel braved the strongest of storms to rescue civilians). Worst for me was the announcement from the NDCC that they were abandoning rescue efforts and diverting whatever little was left of their resources for relief operations! What kind of people would let those fighting just to survive to die?

And as for Mr. Teodoro’s statement that this latest typhoon took them by surprise and so everything they were doing were all spur of the moment, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Isn’t keeping an eye out exactly for these kinds of things the whole function of the National Disaster Coordinating Council? Shouldn’t preventive measures, evacuation plans and a host of other contingency plans be at the ready at a moments notice? After all, it didn’t rain cats and dogs out of nowhere; we knew Ondoy was coming, the rain was fairly moderate – it wasn’t like months’ worth of rain fell inside an hour. Those in charge could have predicted the water level increase and put in motion relocation plans and issued announcements. Help should have been sent to those deemed would be in most danger. But no, we were told by NDCC to please not use our phones because phonelines are clogged – and there we were, trying to get in touch with loved ones who were outside the protection of our houses, worrying sick for their safety, looking for ways to get to them or get them home. I wish Mr. Teodoro could have had a confrontation with my grandmother then, who had been conducting a headcount of all of her grandchildren in the city via telephone; she’d put him in his place.

I was so very fortunate that none of my family members had been in harm’s way, that my cousins and aunts didn’t have their houses flooded or their safety otherwise threatened. It would have been easy to pretend that it was just a rainy Saturday, but the news told us otherwise, and the city that the front steps of our house overlooked had turned into a river of murky brown water, visible in the middle of which was around three feet of wall and the roof of three-storey school building.

But like most, we incurred losses. I lost a distant grandmother because (and no matter how many times the government deny it, we all know it happened) a water dam was unceremoniously opened to let water out – into the village nearby which, for thirty years, has never seen flooding. Water and mud and muck buried cars, houses and friends, relatives and loved ones.

So, to all Filipinos who read this particular post, please absorb the points and come summer next year, please remember that it is our choice who we put into Office to lead us, help us and stand by us. Remember that the impact of typhoons like Ondoy could have been dramatically lessened, that people could have been saved, that our government, economically poor as it is, should have been about protecting and serving the Filipinos. Come election day on summer, think about what our people endured, and how, next time, it could be our sister, or brother, or parents, or loved ones, making up the death toll.

So it was drizzling on and off all last night – not the river turned upside down downpour we’ve been having but a soft, heavenly drizzle that causes tree leaves to make the highly relaxing sound as they dance in the light shower - which generally means that most people in Manila would sleep like babies and oversleep as well. For us fortunate enough to live in the hills area, however, this meant that our usual nice, cool air at night is replaced with the freezing kind. I slept with a thick blanket over my usual satin one and I still got cold. I spent some time rolling in bed trying to figure out how to get warmer without a comforter because I was too lazy to get out of bed to grab one. I don’t recall when I fell asleep but the instant that I woke up at five AM to get ready for the day, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was warm. The reason: my beloved Shih-tzu, Paris (after the city not the heiress), who hated warm anything and everything, who would sleep inside the frig if he could, had snuck under my two layers of blankets and laid horizontally over my feet, keeping it nice and toasty warm. His head was out of the sheets and facing the screen door to my veranda, pointing to the cool wind that he longed for. Soon as he felt me move he looked up at me, got up, walked to me and dragged his head against my hands. Then he looked at me as if to make sure that I was indeed getting up already; soon as I swung my legs off the bed, he lightly jumped off it, lain down on the rugs by the screen door and went to sleep as I had my morning shower and got ready for the day. Soon as I finish up getting dressed, he got up, went to me so I can carry him in my arms and we went downstairs and he’s as happy as any puppy can be at barely six in the morning on a drizzly day.

He’s our first and only small dog, and to this day I don’t know what prompted to me to buy him from a good friend, but I’m so glad I did. 

Technically, he’s no longer a puppy as he’s four years old (that’s human years; we celebrate his birthdays once a year so I don’t really care much for dog years and such) but I call him by his name, Paris (pronounced Pa-ri), or poopoo (when he’d been four months old he attempted to eat his poop; my sister laughingly said we get full value for what we feed him because he’d eat it twice if we let him, and the two of us has been affectionately calling him poopoo since and everyone is puzzled how someone can call their pet poopoo) and puppy. There are variations of other nicknames which sort of sprang from the first nicknames such as poopoo doggy, Pari-shan and Pari-shanshan (which is actually sung and, you’ve got it, invented by my sister), and about half a dozen others.

He absolutely loves milk, pancakes, black grapes, cheese and ice cream; show him any of these and he’d go so still you’d mistake him for a toy, as he waited for you to give him the food he loves.

And he’s absolutely possessive – with his toys, my bedroom which is his bedroom, my car which is his car, and most of all of me! He’d share his food, sometimes his toys, but never his owner. Speaking of toys, one of his all time favorite toys which he chases around and nibbles on, aside from Hugo’s ear, is a stuffed soccer ball. He now has three of those, but he never tires of it (I know, it’s like he posed for this shot; and yes, I got a bit carried away with his grooming; sorry, poopoo)

It annoys my sister when I open the door to my bedroom and puppy comes bounding in and goes straight to the middle of my bed, beating her to it. She gets all bratty and complains that she has rank over puppy and she wants to throw him out, but she never does, because he’s so cute as he snuggles to one of the bears and falls right to sleep. Several cousins of mine had visited the house and mistaken him for a toy a couple of times already. I never tire of it – he’s just so lovable!

Sometimes, my sister does delegate him to his favorite rug on the floor, and then she finds her heart and throws him some pillows and toys

But she really gets even when it’s time for his bath, which is twice a week. Needless to say, puppy hates his bath. One of our househelp gives him his bath and whenever puppy would hear anyone call out the househelp’s name with instructions to give him a bath, his ears would perk up, he’d quickly look around for the approaching househelp and run for cover – I don’t doubt that he can understand us, so do my sister, and she does the calling out for fun and puppy would station himself between my feet, all alert and non-relenting and pouring on the whole pleading-puppy-thing or he’d go to my mother and have her carry him as if asking her to keep the househelp from giving him a bath. Of course, this always works for a couple of minutes. Momma gives him a piece of cookie or fruit, and then hands him over for his bath. Either Paris never learned that bath is inevitable and he keeps trying to get out of it OR he has learned that he can’t get out of it and is milking it for what it’s worth each time. I’m inclined to go with the latter.

But he’s always so cheerful and is the happiest puppy right after his bath (not to mention hungry). I guess he feels so refreshed and full of energy; the downside is he won’t stop rolling about and pawing on the floor, tail wagging as he barked, and, man, he just seems to bounce off the floor and the chairs and sofa – with the downside that he’s all sweaty in just a few minutes after his grooming and I’d have to wipe him and brush his coat for several minutes again. 

Yeah, he’s one of those puppies used to puppy shoes and clothes. Where our other dogs would toss about when we put dog clothes on them, Paris absolutely couldn’t care less. In fact, my mother uses him as model when she’s making puppy clothes. He’d sigh in a resigned way as they tried on clothes on him, but after a few minutes he just wouldnt care anymore and just sit there contentedly as they tried and retried clothes on him. He doesn’t even mind when they try on female puppy clothes on him, but I do!

To give you more idea of what he’s like, he steers clear of our German Shepherd, Tim (christened Tim Von Haus Justice, offspring of a pair of London dog show champions, but what the hell; it’s not like he cares about parentage, we love him and vice versa, and that’s what matters), who is the clear and undisputed Alpha dog. He’d taken over from Rambo, our deceased Doberman, and has remained uncontested to date. If you look closely at the picture of Tim below, you’d see Hugo watching him, and if you look really close, you’d see Paris there as well…

A dog Paris likes to be around is Max, our cinnamon American Chowchow, who doesn’t like being followed around by any dog and gets annoyed when they insistently do, which is what Paris does. I always get Max on a harness and Paris in no clothes whenever he wants to play with Max, to avoid anything getting tangled into anything because Paris usually gets up on his hind legs and Max mercilessly shakes him off, not caring whether he actually throws him onto the floor or steps on him. Yeah, after just a few minutes of this and I’m all hoarse from yelling at Max to not step on Puppy.

To our youngest dog, Hugo, a much larger Golden Retriever and about the nicest dog you could ever come across, Paris is a complete bully – whenever my father isn’t around, that is, because Hugo is really his dog and wouldn’t let Paris bully Hugo and would scold Hugo for being bullied by a dog thats just the size of his head. I just realized that I haven’t a got picture of them together! Anyhoo, here’s one of Hugo:

To Paris’ defense, he may be a bully with Hugo, I think he honestly thinks that he’s the older dog and thus has rank over Hugo. He also thinks that he’s the only one who has the right to be a bully with Hugo and once he even furiously barked and tried to get away from me to defend Hugo who was being barked at by another dog. He’d also snarl at Hugo whenever I or my sister or momma tells Hugo off for doing something bad. I think Paris thinks Hugo is his responsibility. They’re just like brothers, it so cute! They couldn’t stand being away from each other and play together all the time. Put a door between them and one way or the other, they’d tear it down or find a way to render it useless. They make quite a team too. Whenever we shut them to one of our side gardens, Paris would whimper soon as he senses that I’m on the floor and I’d open the wooden double doors and look at them through the screen door, and Hugo would be silently waiting to pounce on the screen door and, with puppy directly beneath him, they’d scamper into the house. 

To tell you more about Paris, whenever our designated househelp would prepare the dogs’ meals, Paris would always try to sneak into the kitchen where the four doggie bowls are, and he’d eat off all the doggie bowls, except his! I don’t know why he does it but there you go…

And whenever any of us picks him up, he absolutely never, ever complains! It doesn’t matter if you’re just stroking him for a while or an hour or shaking him up and annoying him on purpose or when my sister is just squeezing him because he’s so cute; he’d just stay there and deeply sigh in a can’t-do-anything-about-this way now and again (my sister loves to do this, especially puppy sighs; she finds it highly amusing)

I think he’s a really patient dog. Even though he doesn’t have much patience with Hugo and other small dogs, when I tell him to ‘wait’, he does, although every hair on his coat is dripping with dislike-but-cant-do-a-damn-thing-about-it way, like when I took this picture (the one on the right is Ptolemy, his brother). He’d just suffer his family in silence.

And he loves to explore things that are new to him. On time or another, every  member of the family ends up almost sitting or treading on him – you would not believe what he gets into, and sometimes he wouldn’t move at all so you wouldn’t know that he was beneath that bundle of rugs or inside that bag.

And now I really have to stop blogging ‘cos I’ve a thousand things to get on with, one of which is to pick up something for puppy, who is having his bath today and would be excitedly looking forward to his treat.

admit it – animals make people happy

I found this clip of a cute little brown bear cub being scared silly by a lion cub awfully cute for the first fifteen seconds, after that I just felt bad for the little brown fellow.

He reminds me of Hugo, our two-year-old Golden Retriever who gets scared silly by the sound of thunder; he’s so scared of the booming thunder that a rain shower would wake him up and he’d be on his guard, anticipating the arrival of thunder. He’d come running, careening on the marble floor as he turned, jump onto our Elizabethan sofa and ignore calls to get off as he buries his face betweein your back and the sofa.  

Okay. After watching it again, I just feel so bad for the cute bear! It looks to me like he’s not just scared out of his fur by the other baby animals all of which look like none of them want to scare him but are merely investigating; he’s so quickly startled, and we all know how that sends the heart pounding so much that it physically hurts.

To the bear’s caretakers, we know you’re trying to make him more sociable, but please try to do it more gradually and in more subtle ways. Imagine what that little bear cub went through with this video alone!  

 

This one, on the other hand, is just so adorable! Reminds of Paris, my Shih-tzu, who gets startled very easily.

 

My Shih-tzu sleepwalks and I’ve been trying to get it on film for ages – and miserably failing! To give you guys of an idea what that looks like, here’s a vidoe – just add you in the background getting startled at first and laughing as you try to wake your sleepwalking dog (I’m so envious of the owner who caught his dog’s sleepwalking moment on film!)

 

cramming

Haven’t blogged for ages and as I’m so busy these days and I’m not quite sure when I’d be able to update again, I decided to squeeze in assortment of things for this entry so bear with me.

First: going to the advanced screening of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. So excited. Apparently, the Vatican Paper, L’Osservatore Romano, hailed the latest movie installment to the HP Series. According to the paper, The Half-blood Prince shows a clear picture of the battle of good versus evil and that sometimes sacrifices are entailed for good to triumph. The same paper says the movie depicted an accurate picture of adolescent love as well.

I’m not quite sure as to the opinion about the good versus evil thing – isn’t it more interesting when Harry is confronted with his inner battles about this (remember those instances when he thinks he’s turning bad, or Voldemort is controlling him, or he thinks a part of him is from Voldemort?) As to the depiction of adolescent love, come on! Book 6 was Ron and Hermione getting together and Harry and Ginny getting together – in the last chapters! This isn’t a big thing in the book, I sure hope they wouldn’t make it so in the movie. And with L’Osservatore Romano hailing it, well the paper isn’t exactly a great movie critic paper…

Nonetheless, I’m ditching tomorrow to get ready for the premiere!

 

Two: haven’t played airsoft for ages, for a various thousand reasons. Great way to pass the time as it is, I have to say I’m not really missing it much, primarily because I’ve been spending Sunday mornings hunting for exotic plants @ the Sunday market @ the Lung Center, and the rest of the day hunting up other stuff to put in my garden. The area is roughly 200 square meters, I think, so it’ll be a real challenge and if I had my way I’d be spending every minute working on it for months. So far we’ve decided to make wide terraces with the slope and to go with a distinct asian theme. Not the millions of greens everywhere type; less but not exactly minimalist, if you get my drift. So far my biggest obstacle is doing the fountain as I can’t find neither dark sheet rocks to stick together to make 2feet by 2feet boxes with them or ready made stone/concrete boxes like it (it’ll serve as fountain, well, three of those set in decreasing height – starting at around 5feet – will serve as my fountain), and deciding on my patterns – I want different colored pebbles arranged in artful way but I also want clean lines and nothing that’ll crowd the eye. The patio and greenhouse should be a peice of cake – of course I could always be mistaken, but you know what they say about aiming for the stars and landing on the roof. I’ll post a picture of my garden here when I finish it. If anyone’s got suggestions, please.

 

Three: I’m looking for a new pair of heels for ages and ages now! Not just any pair of heels, red ones. I have to have one for a lot of reasons:

     1. red is my favorite color

     2. it’s red! everyone has to have a pair of to-die-for heels

     3. it’ll go absolutely perfectly with my carved red coral bracelet

     4. It’ll kill even with just plain jeans and white collars, Gucci earrings and rings 

     5. my father just got me a white Gucci bag with red patent leather trim last night! 

So you see, I just have to have one. I’m checking out Aldo’s tomorrow. I really, really hope they have one that I’ll like…. SOS to the shoe lovers in the Manila, any other suggested stores?

 

Four: the usual IGT entry which I hope girls would find useful: You know how you want to wear red lipstick? Not brick red, but red red -  that’s the one, well you know how you want to wear it (you know you want to, we all want to wear red lipstick) but come across a series of things that keep you back ? (will it suit me? Do I even have a prayer of pulling it off? What clothes do I wear it with? Make-up style? etc, etc.) 

Well, here are a few things to know about red lipstick – and when I say red I don’t mean sissy red, we’re talking red Red here, all right: 

     1. it’s Red, and like all things Red, few people can wear it and look good. Luckily, there are some reds which are a tiny bit more subtle than Red, and sometimes this makes all the difference. Remember, when we’re talking about Red,  we’re talking about the exemption rather than the rule. Try it on and see what suits you. If you can pull off red Red, wear it.

     2. I’m neither a stiff penny-pincher or a spendthrift but I find it’s always wise to spend on specific things, one of which are those that are for me – really, why would you try to spend less on yourself? I’m not big on make-up, my staples are lipstick and lipshine and loose powder, which I guess is why I findthat  spending on these things make sense. With lipstick, I’ve tried all the best brands and I can personally vouch for Shiseido. It’s smooth, has this luxurious moisture, smells nice and as intense red as you get – it even stays on even after I’ve had breakfast, lunch and afternoon snacks. Seriously (forget about smudge proof, there’s no such thing yet, but along wit the rest of womankind, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for that). I use the Rouge Authentique before, I’m now using Perfect Rouge from their new line. It’s twice as expensive as Mac but it’s worth every penny.

     3.   Putting it on and getting it to stay on. This starts with application and which has to be maintained throughout the day (not so much with Shiseido. that PhP 1,500 not looking so expensive now, right). Using lip brush makes the lipstick stick to your lips better so this is advisable. After applying your color with a lip brush (evenly. cover all areas, don’t be afraid to reach into the corners it won’t kill you), blot it with tissue (or with a towellete to be used only and only for this purpose) until very little lipstick transfers on the tissue/towellete. Smack your lips. Check that you don’t go over your lip line, unless you did that intentionally; check if there are any on your teeth. Lipstick on your boyfriend’s crisp collars and on coffee mugs/champagne goblets are sexy (especially with dramatic exits) lipstick on the teeth aren’t.  

     4. Gloss. I use Soap & Glory’s Sexy Motherpucker (I’m not swearing, that’s what it’s called). Get the Plum Juice. I love this one; the shine is perfect, and it’s got a bit of a minty feel to it. This was a gift from one of my bestfriends and sooner than I would have wanted I had to hunt around for a second tube, which was a miserable failure. But life must go on and I hunted, and found MAC Lipglass. I suggest Tittle Tassle, which is basically the color of raw flesh (sounds disgusting, but no worries, it looks great with Red  lipstick) and gives your red lips a more vibrant feel, or the Ample Pink (pink; if this isn’t self explanatory for you there’s absolutely nothing I can do for you) which makes you look a bit more womanly (as opposed to vibrant). But nothing beats Sexy Motherpucker for sultry. I wish they’d open up shop here soon or I’d have to resort to having them shipped over, which is such a pain. Apply at the inner center of your lower lip and at the very center of upper lips. This is one of the few instances where less is more. And I’m later tonight I’m placing an order for several tubes of Sexy Motherpucker.

     5. Show it off. Smile. Don’t press your lips together and look like you’re holding back puking. Don’t hold back. Dazzle. But don’t go overboard either; remember that when you smile, you’re showing off your teeth and lips, not your gums.

     6. Or steal attention with a pout. Delivered just right, this can bring down empires. Don’t just press your lips tightly and shoot dagger looks at your boyfriend who forgot that it was your tenth-day anniversary; plump up lips, don’t clamp them together but gently press them together with increasing pressure so that a millimeter or two of your inner lips show, suck your cheeks in just an itty bitty bit, send ONE resentful look at your hubby (make sure he sees it) and then refuse to look at him ever again until he goes down on both knees or presents you with a Louis Vuitton Min Lin.

Warning: I don’t mean to be a b***h but pouting only works if you’ve got the looks and attitude to back it up. Otherwise, stick with the smile.

 

Four: the usual funny entry. 

I guess I’m a bit green minded ‘cos apparently your’re not supposed to see any green stuff at all. But I maintain that no matter how you squint, you’ll see the green stuff:

 

And fifth: I’m trying to make the cl0thes of my beloved poopy doggie (he’d probably scratch my eyes out if he only heard my nickname for him from a human ear but well…) myself! No, I havent posted any pic of that here and it would probably be several hundred tries and some help from professionals before I do so! 

statements that stick

There are people who leave impressions and there are those whose presence dominate – and then there are people who make statements. I can’t quite explain how they do this; it’s not the outfit or the way they carry themselves, no, it’s not quite just the look. It’s the general aura all about them. Speaking of statements, don’t you just love those one-liners that really make a statement? By making a statement, I mean the ones that leave you several steps behind because you’re thinking of what was just said without even thinking that you’re thinking, the ones that make you part your lips and mouth ‘wow’ in complete and utter awe, or (and this is one of my ultimate faves) you end up thinking: so that’s how they do it!

 

Anyhoo, everyone needs to develop their own armament of such statements because believe me, sooner or later, in one instance or another, you’ll need it. Here are some faves of mine, in no particular order and gathered from the web, from people, from books, and most are those that came up when I’m feeling a bit bitchy about a particular thing or person or instance – so yeah, some of these statements of mine are a bit… proactive. Anyhoo. These are on loan until you come up with your own; you can thank me later.

 

What they think of me is unimportant. What is important is what I think of them.

(Queen Victoria)

 

We have the best government money can buy.

 

If you must break the law do it to seize power; in all other instances just observe it.

(Julius Caesar. So makes sense, right)

 

(This is to be said with disdain, subtly sprinkled with an itty bitty drop of cockiness)

Ambition should be made of sterner stuff.

 

(Copied off a famous President; works, especially when people talk about it. While returning a piece of document submitted to you. No place for question marks, use the period.)

‘Is this the best you can do.’

(And the third time you’re handed the same doc….)

‘Maybe this time I’ll read it.’

 

(To your parents)

Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist act.

 

(To jerks under your watch)

Someday you’re gonna get bitch-slapped and I’m not going to do anything about it.

 

(To a too frank friend; off Dan Brown)

You do know you’re going to hell, right?

 

(To someone who thinks he’s all that)

You think that being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time?

 

(when caught driving way past the speed limit by someone who is worth your time)

I wasn’t driving fast; I was just flying low.

 

(you know those hypocrites who go to church all the time but otherwise… now imagine their faces as you say this…)

My Karma ran over your Dogma.

 

(for when you get your I Know What You Did Last Summer moment)

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

 

If you want to be obeyed, know how to command.

(modernized from Machiavelli)

 

(from when you’re stirring up trouble and looking for allies. From the brilliant Machiavelli. I plagiarize this guy all the time)

I’m not interested in the status quo; I’m interested in overthrowing it.

 

(while publicly relishing a triumph over someone sly)

It’s doubly pleasurable to deceive a deceiver.

 

(while slipping a tube of Shiseido lipstick into your tiny Fendi bag, while your younger sister is watching. They have to learn these things and we have to teach them.)

Before all else, be armed.

 

(to ease your guilt)

If someone else can do it, let them do it for you…

 

(when feeling bratty)

I’m not loaded, dammit, I’m f*****n’ filthy rich!

 

I represent luxury.

 

 (not particularly nice to cuss, but no one will cross you after this. No one can say this like Kimora does)

I will beat a bitch’s ass.

 

(plain not nice, but, hell, if they had it coming)

Hoy, ang panget dapat mabait

 

The meek shall inherit the Earth – after we’re done with it.

(I live by this; you’re free to try otherwise)

 

(to the hypocrites who really do think they’re all that)

Don’t be so humble – you’re not great enough for that.

 

(on a girls night out. We owe Shakespeare for this.)

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow they might make it illegal!

 

(rallying for support; boosting people’s faith in you)

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe in myself.

 

(for your mom whose trying to keep your father from buying you Bulgari jewellery)

Moderation is a fatal thing.

 

(when you’re at the end of your patience. Reserved for people who really do deserve it)

I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.

 

(to someone’s whose adding their personal woes to your already too-full-of-important-things head. Snap at ‘em)

Be yourself–it’s a dirty job, but somebody’s got to do it.

 

(when you just don’t give a crap)

 I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.

 

(say this loud enough for the jerk in the other car to hear, as you reach for a handgun in the passenger seat that’s not there. Go thick with the attitude.)

Keep on honking, pal, I’m reloading.

 

 (for a disappointment. To be said seriously)

 I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

 

(for the thick-skulled)

I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter. 

 

(to keep you going even without coffee)

It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.

(being a queen bee)

I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

 

(to someone you just met, and only vaguely, and want to get rid of fast)

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

(looking for a religious war)

My god carries a hammer; you’re god, nailed to a tree. Any questions?

 

(bragging. To be said with as much satisfaction )

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.

 

(playing around)

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

 

(And these are self-explanatory. I suggest you use your imagination to expound: )

 Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable – like a comma

 

Go home, earth is full.

(particularly satisfying when said to a bunch of overgrown idiots in front of a bunch of girls)

 

Your village called, they’re missing their idiot

 

(Back of,) you’re stepping on my aura.

 

Possibly, your sole purpose in life is to serve as warning to others.

 

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

 

The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

 

 I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.

 

NOTE: I suggest that you make sure you have the attitude and backbone to make these one-lines hold up. You may practice on your siblings first.

not related to IceAge whatsover – just funny as well

Someone saved a copy of this on one of my USBs about a year ago – encountering it during a search for a video of Ice Age 3 was a nice surprise. I don’t know the names of the characters or who made them or what for, but they’ve got a couple of videos on youtube and they’re adorable, cute and funny!

See for yourselves:

You know that song thats always in your head as a kid? The one about the lion in the jungle? (I couldn’t forget this as papa bought kuya’s kid a lion that sings this a couple of Christmases ago). Here’s a video of the cute animals I was talking about going on about their version of the song – well, they’re video version of the song, to be more exact:

 

Here’s something I’m absolutely sure everyone knows – that background sound that plays when the sharks are coming! Immortalized by Jaws (had nightmares about this for a couple of years as a kid, one or two now and again – hey, at least I’m big enough to admit it!), and now every movie that has a shark in it plays this background sound, except maybe with Shark Attack… oh wait, they have it as well!

 

And here’s their take on rock anthem Rock You – rocks! heh heh…

 

As one of the major characters is a dog and their doing music vidoes… you’ve got it, Who Let The Dogs Out:

 

‘Course you can’t forget Aretha…

 

They’re just hilarious…!

 

Just gotta love ‘em!

Whoever the people are who made these and for whatever reason – cheers! Thanks for creating them, even more for posting them. You guys just made a couple thousand of people smile and laugh Hope there’s more comin’…..

Ice Age 3 – can’t wait!

Ice Age 3 premiers here in Manila in a couple of hours – can’t wait! The first two had me in stitches and I have a strong feeling this one will too. Though there are a couple of people this particular movie would be fun to watch with, I’d absolutely love to watch it with B and MX – they find humour in the craziest stuff plus they laugh with their hearts. Ice Age 3, here we come…