Fact: parents send unintentionally cryptic messages. Fact: iPhone’s autocorrect has brought this to a whole new level, one not limited to parents. So much so that, for those of you yet aware, there is a website dedicated to it: parentsshouldnttxt.com
hahaha.
here are some of their posts…
and here it is spreading, off damnyouautocorrect.com…
Visit the website on a regular basis to get the right dosage of lols.
I was supposed to blog about the third installation of our epic adventure but as they were wont to do, things come up, and well. So, this isn’t at all about that:
While I was looking after my grams in the hospital a couple of weeks back, one of my cousins visited, book at hand. With nothing to read there and no wi-fi in the area (I know!), I asked her to leave me the book to read, and she consented because exam week was coming up anyway and the book would just keep her from studying. So, that was how I started reading the Mortal Series books.
I’d say its something like the Twilight series, only not so romantic, and with a wider scope of characters. Main characters were Nephilim and Angels, which of course instantly makes it interesting. Here’s a short summary of each book. FYI, it isn’t intended to be spoiler, its to entice you guys to read it!
The first book is called City of Bones.
The setting: modern day New York
The, erm, species (what else do you call them) and further, the characters of consequence you’ll encounter in City of Bones:
Simon. Human-unwittingly-turned-vampire, who is Clary’s childhood bestfriend. Geeky gamer, joins a band of no-talents to get a girlfriend but really wants Clary since forever. He starts out thoroughly human but gets dragged into Magnus Bane’s party and into the Shadowhunter world by swallowing a drink in an attempt to impress Isabelle Lightwood but turns into a rat instead and from there to the road to being a very well-adjusted vampire, though he doesn’t know it yet. He just think that the sun’s glare was getting a little too much.
Clary. Human-who-turns-out-to-be-Nephilim-after-all. The teen red-haired Heroine whose mother brought her to the human world from her womb and regularly gets her memory erased to keep her as mundane (Harry Potter had muggles, here they have mundanes) as possible. While in the Pandemonium, a club, with Simon, she sees Jace, Alec & Isabelle kill a demon pretending to be human and from there gets thrown back into the shadow world with a splash. Her mother, Jocelyn, gets abducted by Valentine Morgenstern, the uber evil Nephilim who turns out to be her father, so she’s taken in by the shadowhunters of New York. She falls in love with Jace, which was fine as he was willing to do anything to help her get her mother back, except Jocelyn turns out to be his mother too, which makes Clary his little sister.
Jace. Nephilim. As Jonathan Christopher Wayland, son of Michael Wayland who was murdered by the Circle he was brought up by the Lightwoods at the Institute in NY (gothic cathedral-like structure in New York which to human eyes appear as abandoned church). One of the best shadowhunters of his age group, certainly the fastest. Sharp-tongued, blonde, gold-eyed and the perfect rugged modern-day teen hero. He falls in love with Clary on sight and from then on wouldn’t let her leave his line of sight. Enter the crisis: the Michael Wayland he knew turned out to be Valentine Morgenstern and he turns out to be Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern. He encounters Valentine from a prison cell, and eventually gets himself hurt and kidnapped by his father. Enter the calamity: he and Clary are siblings. By the way, Nephilims mark themselves with power runes which renders them, well, powers like super speed, etc.
Alec. Nephilim. Firstborn of the Lightwoods. Gorgeous and laid back, and very much a closet gay intent on keeping it so by secretly crushing on his adoptive stepbrother Jace. Crashed Magnus Bane’s party with Jace, Isabelle, Clary and Simon and there gets confronted with his sexual preference when magnificent Magnus sees right through his façade and hits on him.
Isabelle. Killer brunette and plain great demon killer with the electrum whip but can’t cook anything edible. Dates the occasional fairy knight, parties with warlocks and other Downworlders. She’s used to being fussed over, found Simon’s crush on her cute, keeper of Alec’s secret crush on Jace, holder of the ticket to Magnus’ party, and accidentally got Simon turned into a rat at that party.
Magnus Bane. Warlock. Great Warlock of Brooklyn, in fact. Spikey black hair, trim figure, cat eyes, boots, flamboyant trench coats, glitter, eyeliner and electricity jumping off his fingertips. Throws parties that gets the Downworlders – fey (faeries), children of the moon (werewolves, duh) and children of the night (vampires) and lilith’s children (witches and warlocks) – together. He erased Clary’s memories for a fee and can do so much more. Set his cat eyes on Alec and doesn’t bother to hide it.
Luke Garroway but really Lucian Graymark. Nephilim-turned-Werewolf. When Jocelyn is kidnapped, he kills the local wolf pack leader to be the new leader and look for her. Exactly like Clary-&-Simon in that bestfriends-but-he’s-really-in-love-with-her sense. Helped Jocelyn raise Clary like a mundane.
Valentine Morgenstern. Shadowhunter, of the worst kind. Created the Circle (of Nephilims) to overthrow the Clave (Nephilim rulers). With a failed coup, he faked his death, Jocelyn’s and his son’s by burning down their manor house. Pretended to be Michael Wayland and settled himself on the Wayland manor, installing Jace as Jonathan Christopher Wayland. Gives Jace the foundation for being a great shadowhunter, stages his second death in the hands of his Circle, then sends Jace to be brought up by Robert and Maryse Lightwood, former Circle members. He plans to unite the three mortal instruments – Cup which was stolen and hidden by Jocelyn on a pack of cards via a magic rune, Sword which was in the care of the powerful Nephilim Silent Brothers, and mirror which no one knows where to finds -, overthrow the clave, rule the Nephilims and rid the world of Downworlders. He captures the Cup, which Clary and Jace had recovered, in exchange for lifting a powerful curse off Hodge, and the sword by mass murdering the silent brothers.
In City of Ashes,
Valentine had soaked the Sword in the blood of a young werewolf, fey, wizard and vampire – (yes, Simon at that) and is using it to control all sorts of demons. Maryse Lightwood kicks Jace out of the Institute so the Inquisitor (Imogen Herondale, whose son was part of Valentine’s Circle and got killed there, which resulted in his pregnant wife killing herself) will not see him there and surely persecute him. She sends him to prison in the Bone City anyway, where Alec and Isabelle rescue him and throws his emo ass into Magnus’ place to recover. The five (Alec, Isabelle, Jace, Clary and Simon), go to the Seelie court (faerie court) for help via Isabelle’s cligh Meliorn a faerie knight, but of course none is given and Clary actually gets tricked into eating faerie food which means she has to stay with them from then on. The fey prove the Nephilim view of them –beautiful as angels are supposed to be but wicked and cruel as the demons – when the fey queen tells Clary that she will be free if she gets the kiss that she wants. Simon gets ready, but of course Jace beats him to it and with an oomph that makes the eyes water. Once back on human ground, Simon stalks off and gets his ass turned into a full time vamp one.
Back at the Institute, the inquisitor puts Jace in her own kind of prison cell within the Institute walls where, on Alec’s urging, Jace proves that being Valentine’s son gave you special Nephilim powers: he’s super Nephilim. Good bye prison.
The Inquisitor and her Nephilim warriors get to a showdown against Valentine on a huge rusted ship where the Inquisitor accidentally sees a star birthmark on Jace’s shoulder during battle, which brings her to a sudden realization: the star was a Herondale mark, and Jace was the unborn Herondale child. She dies to save him while Clary makes use of her special powers as Valentine’s daughter: she creates a rune, which has never been heard of, and tears the ship to pieces, allowing the Nephilim to survive the battle. I the meantime, Magnus saves Alec from drowning and while they’re on the way to dry land on Luke’s floating truck (thanks to Magnus), sun drenches Simon. They discover that he’s turned into a Daylighter (Daywalker in Blade), though they keep it a secret that its because Jace made him drink his blood after finding him almost dead (er?) after Valentine soaked the Sword. Jace is allowed back with his adoptive family, and he swears to Clary to be her brother and nothing else. Only she was about to tell him that she loved him. Enter Madeline, Shadowhunter childhood friend of Jocelyn who got a message from Jocelyn that she thought Valentine was close to finding her and so she was going to drink a specific potion from which only Ragnor Fell, warlock friend of her family, could wake her. Book two, City of Ashes, ends and dammit.
The City of Glass
is a bit lengthy as facts surface. Here goes.
The setting: Alicante, city of Shadowhunters accessible only via portals which are highly guarded.
Magnus opens a portal and sends the Lightwoods there as scheduled, only without Clary as Jace intentionally gave her a wrong departure date, determined to keep her from the battle lines, and with Simon instead, by accident. Once there, the Lightwoods are suspected of being traitors and Simon the Daylighter, under the pretext of sending him back to NY, gets thrown into prison without anyone knowing it.
Clary uses her power runes and portals into Alicante, with Luke getting dragged into it due to want of protecting her. They get spat out into Lake Lyn whose water is fatal to Nephilim, and ends up spending hours walking to the city of Alicante. Amatis, Luke’s sister, keeps Clary out of sight while Luke secretly rallies the packs at the borders of Alicante. Clary walks in on Jace kissing Aline, another Shadowhunter girl; Sebastian, handsome Shadowhunter who moves as fast as Jace and cousin to Aline, escorts Clary and helps her find Ragnor Fell, only they find Magnus instead who freezes Sebastian, who looks good but is a stranger to him, informs her that Fell is dead and the spell to revive her mother was in the Book of White, which must be in the Wayland Manor. Clary and Jace retrieve the book in Jace’s childhood home, but also finds a cellar which shouldn’t be there, holding Ithuriel, tortured angel and had been chains since Jocelyn had been pregnant. The angel shows them images which explains things to them: a younger Valentine summoning the angel demanding why Shadowhunters were given a huge task but not gifted with the immortality of the fey, magic of children of Lilith, strength of the children of the moon or resistance of the children of the night; Valentine receiving demon blood from a powerful she-demon to be forced into his pregnant wife to enhance the powers of his yet unborn son and starting a new breed of Shadowhunters, but whose humanity will be burned by the demon blood; blood from Ithuriel’s tortured form injected into Valentine to enhance his powers; Valentine slipping powdered angel blood into his wife’s food after she gave birth to lift her depression. Jace realizes he has demon blood which explains why he’s in love with his own sister; Clary counters the runes on Ithuriel’s feet, setting him free; Jace hands over his seraph blade, really setting him free.
Meanwhile, the wards of Alicante, which has stood for ages, were suddenly brought down and demons swarmed the city. Aline is snatched by a demon, Isabelle goes after her, Alec goes after Isabelle, and Sebastian secures the house and Max. Only when Isabelle returns, Max is gone and Sebastian attacks her. Wolves come to the rescue. Jace and Clary meet Alec in the Gard, they see Magnus, Clary hands over the book to him. Sebastian tries to stop her, then tries to get her out of sight of the others, but fails in both. Jace and Alec march her off to free Simon, where they also find Hodge, who promptly gets a knife on the chest by Sebastian, who confesses he’s Valentine’s spy, and that he killed Max, their kid brother who had earlier insisted that he saw someone climbing the Demon Towers of Alicante which controlled the wards. He throws Jace against a tree, hits Clary in the face and beats Alec before getting attacked by Simon and running away. Simon curses his blood which tastes like poison in his mouth.
Valentine’s form walks into the Gard and asks for the Clave to relinquish power to him, or he will destroy them all. Meanwhile, Isabelle blames herself for Max’s death and wouldn’t talk to anyone but Simon’s persistence pays off; Jace and Clary sleep in her room as brother and sister for the first and last time before war, but he gets up early and leaves only a note explaining his love for her and that he’s going after Sebastian. Jocelyn shows up, having been freed from the self-cast spell by Magnus, and Clary’s anger at being lied to, at Jace being her brother, broke surface. She finds herself at the Gard, where the Nephilim had just decided to surrender to Valentine instead of allying themselves with Downworlders. She remembers the rune that the angel Ithuriel showed her, and speaks up in front of everyone. Nephilim can share in the strength of Downworlders, if they each pick a partner and mark each other with the rune which she will show them. They eventually agree, and Alec partners Magnus and brings out their relationship in the open; while the children of the night agree to join the alliance in exchange for the Nephilim handing over Simon, whom they view as an abomination, but without the vamps, there weren’t enough Downworlders. Clary marks Simon with the mark of Cain, rendering him untouchable but otherwise the conditions of the vamps were met so they have to fight as well.
Meanwhile, Jace finds Sebastian speaking with Valentine about their plans. He learns that Hodge’s theory had been right: the missing mirror was Lake Lyn. He also finds out that Sebastian is the real Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern, the demon-child. As soon as Valentine gets on his way, leaving the task of setting the demons free at midnight to Sebastian, Sebastian confronts Jace and they fight. Of course he sets the demons free earlier, for want of blood, and at the same time to gloat to Jace of his power and that him, demon-child, was so much better than Jace, whom he calls angel. And then – well, like I said this isn’t a spoiler. Read the book!
By the way, all the pics of the books are from their official website.
If summer were a handbag she’d be a one-of-a-kind gorgeous bag of white woven cloth and handmade wood buttons with her handle an intricate braided wood. And I’d forever pity her because people keep trying to stuff all sorts of stuff into gorgeous summer: vacations you wanted to have starting ten years ago but failed to do so due to buggers known as school or work, visit an old person you call lola and who is so very distantly related to you that even your mother isn’t sure exactly how either of you are related to her either (which you don’t really want to do anyway but will because it’s, after all, the summer and you’ve nothing else to do), visiting the grave of the same very distantly related to you person that even your mother isn’t sure exactly how either of you are related to her because she’s passed away five years ago and you weren’t able to make it to her burial or visit her grave ever (which you don’t really want to do anyway but will because it’s, after all, the summer and you’ve nothing else to do), all those mall sales you missed last year because you instead went to the bazaars that promise great finds and which springs up everywhere, the bazaars that promise great finds and which springs up everywhere which you missed because you had to do something utterly dreadful and a horrifying waste of your perfectly good time like filing your tax returns.
If summer were a handbag she’d be a one-of-a-kind gorgeous bag of white woven cloth and handmade wood buttons with her handle an intricate braided wood, and she’d be wondering how in the world she’d make all those things fit inside her delicate, handmade interior.
After that two hundred ninety-six word intro, we get to my point: this summer, at least for several days, discard everything and spend time, and all the cash you have, on you. For a couple of days, forget about all of the crap I mentioned in paragraphs one and two. And do this:
Grab your bag, put your mobile in silent mode, and settle into a luxurious foot spa @ the Nail Loft. Said foot spa is composed of a scrub and massage that lasts for a solid heavenly hour. Try the paraffin treatment. They soak your hands or feet or both in warm paraffin and once its completely covered and all you need is a candle wick to finish the job, they cover your hands or feet or both in plastic and let it stay. After about half an hour or maybe a bit more (I can’t clearly recall as I’ve already fallen ten minutes into the foot spa), they peel it off and it comes off whole like squishy rubber and your hands or feet or both are baby smooth and soft. Then to mani-pedi. Try a new color. Not, horror of horrors, an orange or coral blue lest you want heaven to strike you down there and then; you should be safe with a nice pearl or deep plum. An eye pad with cool cucumber slices on them and hot tea completes the relaxing hour and are complimentary. Soothing music is softly played in the background. My fave branch is the one @Shopwise Commonwealth, basement level. Said foot spa/mani/pedi is called package 2 and costs 6oo bucks, the paraffin is around 450 bucks. When your bill reaches a thousand bucks, you get a loyalty card which is not so much a loyalty card as you can get it on your first visit but really a reward-for-spending-a-thousand card. This pink card entitles you to 30% discount on your next visit, etc. Good for five visits and to be consumed within the next six months. I’d say its worth it as the rewards costs around a thousand and five hundred bucks.
Now dash to Melisa’s @Rockwell’s Powerplant Mall. Don’t pinch those bills. A good pair of anything should set you back a little. My summer essential sandals this year is a pair of brown wedges from said shop. It’s soft but firm brown rubber coated all around with woven abaca in brown and white; there one horizontal strap at the middle of your foot, one around your big toe and a diagonal one across the rest of your toes, all made of again soft but firm brown rubber, the shiny type this time around. This wedge can go anywhere: from malls to lunches to dinner to beaches.
Since you’re already @Powerplant, get a tub of BareMinerals ID mineral veil. I strongly recommend applying said light powder, which incidentally illuminates your face for a healthy glow in addition to making it appear super smooth when it really is just smooth, with a Kabuki brush. If you can’t live without blush, I recommend Body Shop’s bronzing balls, applied sparingly with ModelCo. brush across your cheekbones and vertically over your nose. Lipstick in your lips’ natural color topped with Mac Lip Glass finishes everything.
Now you’re looking and feeling like the goddess of summer, off to refreshing lunch @Italianis. For the love of Tom Ford I can’t recall what it’s called but order the salad dish with the peeled oranges, vibrant greens and goat cheese on them. If you’re more of a carnivore, them jet off to Jack’s Loft @EastWood. Their Panini sandwich serves two (so does their Fishbowl Icedtea. You kinda get it with the name alone and yes, they did serve it in especially made Fishbowl glasses before, now they’re more of a Flower Vase Icetea) and comes with some chips. Take your lovely time eating every inch of the said sandwich while leaning back on their comfortable couches while soaking in the dim, laid back atmosphere. I love biting into the grapes in the sandwiches; gives the dish that oomph.
Now get some gelato from Fiorgelato @The Podium, then off to your trusted hairdresser. Have your frock trimmed, and along with it get an aminomint treatment. This is an hour of hydrating your hair – they give you said hydration by massaging the aminomint potion into your hair and scalp with firm, relaxing, rejuvenating massage moves. If you want to try waves, this is the time to try digiperm. Tony and Guy does good job, and so does this place @ Tomas Morato I just cant remember what the place is called . If you’ve got longish hair, be prepared to shell out around 5,ooo bucks, but then again you get wash-n-wear waves as if you were born with it. Although I’ve never tried this one I know it works because my sister had it and I had to pay for it so yes, this digiperm thing works.
By now its late afternoon. Skip Starbucks; we’ve had enough of that throughout college, try something else now. Go instead to Figaro. This is a Filipino-owned cafe which serves magnificent, and I do magnificent, Al Tono pasta and their sandwiches, to die for. Really. It’s also so much more elegant and quaint that Starbucks, not to mention it’s not packed with college students dying to tell their friends, and everyone in the shop is free to listen to it too as their voices are just that loud, every detail of their lovelife. Now enjoy your food. Feel all the texture, taste all spices, absorb it all. Read a paper in leisurely pace if you want to. Better yet, pick up a book and spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying it.
Good Omens is ideal. This one’s a collaboration between Neil Gaiman of Sandman graphic novel fame and Terry Pratchett creator of the Discworld Series. Gaiman’s brilliant story plots and inspired use of names (in his book American Gods – one of my unquestionable favourite books and I have high standards – the main character is befriended by fellow inmate called Low Key Lye Smith, who turns out to be Loki Lye-smith, god of mischief. American Gods is about the fate of gods, old and new and though some people may view it as anti Catholicism as the dominant religion of the day, I think it’s a daring piece of work that doesn’t challenge the Roman Catholic Church or any other Religion so much as it is simply putting another way of looking at things out there. This book is marvellous and is a must read for everyone) combines perfectly with Pratchett’s talent for effortlessly humorous lampooning everything set in stone.
The book opens with Aziraphale, the angel guarding the Garden of Eden with a Flaming Sword, having a conversation with Crawly, the serpent who tempted Adam and Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Crawly was saying that he was just told to create some trouble and then sent up to Earth; tempting Adam and Eve seemed to fit the bill. Aziraphale, wretched that the creator was, more or less, pissed off, tells him that perhaps Crawly couldn’t have helped it, him being created evil, and a highly illuminating (once you get past the highly confusing part) conversation unfolds. Crawly gets annoyed at the angel’s trust in the Ineffable – good is good bad is bad and good always win) argued why in the world would anyone create a tree with fruit that was not for eating and put it smack the middle of the damned garden in the first place, and cuts the conversation with asking where Aziraphale’s sword, which apparently flamed like anything, was. Turns out Aziraphale pitied Adam and Eve who were banished the Garden of Eden after all and there were all sorts of beasts outside the garden as the lord has created and the first storm of the Earth was on its way as the clouds had announced and it was cold and Eve was expecting already, so he gave them the flaming sword. The two beings had been on Earth since. The modern times arrive and Crawly, now A.J Crowley, in his shiny vintage Bentley whose gas gauge was pointing to empty as it has been for twenty years since, was taking care to break all speed limits because every little helps. He was summoned by Hastur and whatshisface (dammit), Dukes of Hell; he was handed a basket and informed that time has come. This was the anti-christ, the Spawn of Satan, Devourer of Beasts, etcetera, etcetera, deliver him to the sisters of the Chattering Order (nun satanists who babble all the time, the lot of them, whose sole purpose was to switch the anti-Christ with the son of the wife of the American diplomat in London), who promptly messes things up and puts the kid in the wrong room. They also bomb naming him and instead of Damien and the like the kid gets named Adam and is raised human by his parents. Fast forward eleven years and Armaggedon is due to take place that Saturday, and Aziraphale and Crowley (enemies for thousands and thousands of years which really makes them sort of BFF) are at the birthday party of the son of the American Diplomat waiting for the arrival of the Hell Hound who would be the guardian of the son of Satan, only it never arrives because it has a built in homing device and it goes to Adam. And Adam goes on and names it Dog to save all the trouble and, built to obey its Master, it becomes a small dog, Adam’s every dream and desire: a pedigree mongrel. Enter an ancient witchfinder sergeant who keeps on referring to his old, nice female neighbour with phrases like ‘Awa’ wi’ ye, harlot!’ and who recruits Newt Pulsifier who turns out to be descended from witchfinder major Thou-Shall-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifier who has 9 brothers and sisters with names which I bet you can guess, who then falls in love with Anathema Device descendant of John Device who invented the Device and of Agness Nutter, Witch, who, with her burning at the stake, brought witchfinder major Thou-Shall-Not-Commit-Adultery Pulsifier with her to wherever it is they go to when they snuff it. Turns out Agnes is psychic and wrote The Book which you will later on find out is in fact not the bible but one entitled The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agness Nutter, Witch in a time when witch-hunting was in its peak. Said book predicts the future, specialising on those affecting her descendants like Newt and Anathema getting it on after an earthquake and hours from the Armaggedon; and she writes in it such a way that you really understand it only after the predicted event has already happened, so it’s a challenge getting meaning from it. Oh, there’s also the Four Riders – Death who is the leader who never shows his face and doesn’t really do anything, doesn’t even know how computers work except if they’re the kind you play games on in diners, which annoys War, a redhead and a real adventurer, which is fine by Famine a sleek guy whose made his millions in Meals TM, Snacks TM and such which tastes like food but isn’t really food but just junk (oh, wait, just like all the existing fastfoods, right, lol) and Pollution, who was really just a young man as he had only recently taken over when Pestilence retired when the Penicillin was invented. And they ride motorbikes. They’re to meet up with Adam and he shall lead them, his generals, and the rest of the hosts of hell in their war against the hosts of heaven. Adam is now a powerhouse of raw force and 11-year-old reasoning, and leader of the Them as they’re called by the elders of Lower Tadfield and composed of Pepper (a girl), Brian (who seems like he’s made of dirt) and Wensleydale, the intelligent one. It’s all up to him to decide whether old people are messing up the Earth what with killing the whales and nuclear weapons and obliterating the rainforests and it would be better if he got rid of them and everything else, leaving only the Them and things they like and he can go ahead and re-make everything as he likes it, or he can decide that there’s much of the Earth he hasn’t explored and discovered yet and riders and heavenly hosts and those from hell go away now. A really nice read by Gaiman and Pratchett; not really surprised, like ‘em both, ‘course I’d like their collaborative work. And you even get to meet Adam’s father.
When the sun sets, you may now book your whole body massage for after dinner and a shower.
Head home and prepare dinner for the family. Have fun doing so. Smell the sauce, feel the heat of the stove. But before cooking, slice half a watermelon into inch chunks, lay on a tray and slide into the freezer. This is dessert. Back to the pasta. I use Smirnoff, and prefer to add a bit more of it, and cover my portion (on my plate) in parmesan. Recipe from about.com
Ingredients:
• 1/4 cup unsalted butter
• 1 cup (50 g) grated Parmigiano (buy a chunk and grate it fresh)
• 3 tablespoons tomato paste, diluted with 1/4 cup hot water
• 1 hot pepper
• 1/4 cup or so (maybe a third of a cup) good vodka — you want something that has a taste to it
• 1 teaspoon brandy
• 2/3 cup fresh cream
• 1 pound rigatoni
Preparation:
Bring pasta water to a boil, lightly salt it, add the pasta, and give it a good stir.
In the mean time, melt the butter in a large pot and stir in the tomato paste and the hot pepper. Let the mixture simmer over a low flame for a couple of minutes, then stir in the cream, and when the sauce comes back to a boil, the vodka and brandy. Fish out and discard the pepper, stir in the grated cheese, and continue stirring gently until the sauce is well amalgamated and creamy.
By now the pasta should be about done — you want it still somewhat al dente. Drain it, transfer the pasta into the sauce (this is why you need a large pot), and cook over a brisk flame, stirring energetically, for about a minute to help the pasta absorb the sauce.
Serve at once, with a light red wine.
Yield: 4 servings penne or pasta alla vodka.
Pair with garlic bread. Use the best china. Talk over dinner. The possibilities are endless: music, clothes, your pets, clothes, everything you saw earlier – from fashion victim people to trend setters, to your new secret recipe (only let on that it’s got vodka in it, that should spark enough interest). When the pasta’s all gone, get the tray of watermelon. Drizzle with honey. Serve. Take compliments graciously, and they can further thank you with washing the dishes.
Bath. Do a sixty-minute one, not one second short. Scrub furiously then scrub lovingly, or the other way around, but scrub. Soak. Use up half of the whole bottle of rose body bath. And again. Dry with towel. Pick out decent undies and cover yourself with robe or towel. Time for that massage you phoned for.
Choices are now endless, from those with aromatherapy (they now have scents from flowers and things you haven’t even heard of) to those with stones to reflexology and stuff. I recommend an hour of Shiatsu followed by an hour of Swedish, top off with an hour at the sauna. If you don’t have sauna at home, skip it. I have to say, I prefer home service; you can drift right off to sleep without the bother of getting your clothes back on or anything.
Now wasn’t that wonderful.
( My heart never left you for a second and I am and will be until in the other world one who loved you without measure…)
Pass the tissue.
So you’ve heard of poems and you’ve given one or two to people who are important to you and / or you’ve received one or two from people who think you important to them. I’d bet you’ve heard of Shakespeare and Chaucer (though you probably prefer the former as Chaucer is a bit vulgar for his time). Though I love the works of both poets, my all-time favorite poem was written by someone else, Pablo Neruda, one of favorite literary writers.
If you haven’t been to a poetry reading (it’s not a very big thing here in Manila, but if you were lucky enough to have gone to my College then you spent some time on this and, hopefully, appreciated it), now is the time to go to one. An advice to first timers: never mind all the other people there, and listen with your heart. Sometimes I close my eyes when listening to a poetry reading, but this isn’t necessary. Finding a good reader is hard, and you’d know you found one when, after listening to the poem, you find that you felt the poem instead of heard (how good or bad) the reader. So here’s my favorite poem, ‘Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines’, from Il Postino, read by Andy Garcia – whose not just gorgeous but also one of the best readers out there - listen and judge for yourself. Enjoy!
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example,’The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me sometimes, and I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Another’s. She will be another’s. Like my kisses before.
Her voide. Her bright body. Her inifinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that’s certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my sould is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.
Sigh. The film was a huuuge disappointment for me. I secured a copy of the book’s first printing, I’ve read it, loved it, reread it, and loved it still.
And then they go ahead and cast Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon – I mean, come on! Where’s the ‘Harrison Ford in a tweed jacket’ there, and what about Langdon’s low baritone which is chocolate for the ears? And this is the main character we’re talking about. So yeah, I think the part could have been better cast. But since we all know Tom Hanks would be playing Robert Langdon because he’d played that in the Da Vinci Code film, I had a bit of time to wrap my head around the idea of him as Langdon (which doesn’t really change things much, more like knowing the inevitable).
What was a complete and shock to me – horror, really – was how the movie told a different story than the book did! It was outrageous! The main point of the book was to show the distinctly different roads two very similar characters chose to take:
Vittoria was an orphan adopted by Leonardo Vetra, a young priest who was also a scientist who, in the main, believed that there is harmony between science and religion, only that science was too young to understand religion and see this harmony; Vittoria became a brilliant scientist and worked alongside her father for CERN, delving into antimatter and producing a quantity big enough for the naked eye to see which is basically a drop – which can power an entire city or level it, and in essence discovered the Bible’s the moment of Creation. You can see the Science-Religion conflict here;
Carlo Ventresca (they even changed his name to Patrick McKenna in the movie) was orphaned when a bomb hit the church where he and his mother were praying. He was taken in by the priest who ran the said church, who also had a deep respect and love for science and what it can do; together they served the church. Carlo became the Camerlengo when his ‘holy father’, as he calls his adoptive priest father, rose to the Office of the Pope.
Leonardo Vetra was found dead in his apartment at CERN shortly after his breakthrough on antimatter, with his chest branded with an ambigram of the word ‘Illiuminati’ and one of his eyeballs cut out – the said ambigram was thought of as a myth and is one of the symbols of the brilliance of the men making up the brotherhood of the Illuminati and supposedly lost in the bloody history of the Church and the Illuminati, while the vault holding the antimatter at CERN can be opened by retina scan which recognizes only those of Leonardo and Vittoria. One of the three battery powered containers holding these big amounts of antimatter was stolen and placed somewhere within Vatican City, exactly where, the Swiss Guards couldn’t name and it was due to explode at midnight when the battery runs out.
Meanwhile, St. Peter’s Square is filled to capacity due to Pope Watch because the Pope had died of natural causes recently; but soon the four prefereti were kidnapped from within the heart of the Vatican and it was discovered that the Pope had after all been poised right inside his bedroom.
The crux is that Vittoria, who basically symbolizes modern science in all its carbonfiber glory, wanted to save Vatican and kill the man who killed her beloved father, but in the end she didn’t; Carlo, who had spent all his life preaching the good news, turned out to be the one behind the kidnappings and killings and in fact killed his holy father himself.
To me, what made the book compelling was not just the plot, though it’s certainly part of it, but also how masterfully things were revealed. It was a real heartache moment when, as Vittoria and Carlo had been talking about Carlo’s childhood on their way to the Pope’s crypt, Carlo reveals that his holy father had guided him throughout his life and he had only recently died, that his hold father is the Holy Father; how Dan Brown came up with why Carlo murdered the Pope – in a discussion over support for Leonardo’s antimatter discovery, which Carlo was against as he viewed science as the bombs and wars that created conflict and killed his mother, the Pope told Carlo that he was not like the other people he addressed as ‘son’ but that he was his own flesh blood, which made Carlo lose his head and run off anguished and plotting murder (at this point, you’re kinda not sure about condemning Carlo). And how it was revealed in the end that the Pope’s great love and respect for science was because in his youth he had fallen in love with a nun and they had wanted to have a child together but then-priest equally loved his calling. The nun left the church to get pregnant; she soon gave birth to the greatest love of her life (and that of the priest’s): Carlo – and this was a virgin birth, made possible by science.
And let’s not forget another big character in the book, Kohler, the ruler of CERN and the ultimate personification of science who tended to look at religion with eloquent contempt. The anti-matter study was made possible because of him, he had Langdom flown in from the US to Switzerland (CERN) to figure out the mysetry of Leonardo Vetra’s murder, he found out that Leonardo Vetra had told someon (the Pope) about the supposedly super secret anti-matter study and he figured out that Carlo (widely known as the Pope’s confidant) killed the Pope. So the famous scientist whom the civil society had been calling antichrist flew to the very steps of Vatican, under live satellite coverage, an hour before midnight to stop Carlo’s plans – which got him killed, but not before he passed on a clue to Langdon. Near the end of the book, Dan Brown reveals that Kohler contempt for religion was due to the fact that rich as his parents had been, they had opted to pray for his sickness to pass instead of making use of the medicine doctors were offering. While his family’s priest told him that he had sinned and God was punishing him with the illness that would forever take away the use of his legs, a doctor secretly injected him with the medicine, saving his life, while apologizing for not having done it sooner and saving him his legs as well.
So. To those who had seen the movie but haven’t read the book, look at what you’ve missed! My advise is this: read the book. The movie and the book are different. Read the book.
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